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On raising money to support “Because I Am a Girl”

20 Oct

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Today I’ve actually had one of those days on my “sabbatical” that I always imagined, when I was working, that I’d have when I wasn’t: I went to the gym and met a friend for coffee this morning, I read a magazine, I had a lovely lunch with my husband … and I then spent the afternoon baking brownies and other goodies in my kitchen.

In the seven weeks since I finished gainful employment, I can count the number of days like today on the fingers of one thumb, so it’s been pleasing to finally achieve the Nirvana of a tranquil and domesticated day. My house smells of chocolate and vanilla and lavender polish; I’ve spent no time at all on either a job hunting website or fiddling with my CV. Instead, I’ve been preparing to host a “Girl’s Night In” event tomorrow night, when around fifteen great women (friends, neighbours, colleagues, contacts) will arrive and join me for dinner, wine and conversation.

But this is no ordinary dinner party: everyone will be making a donation of between £10 and £15 per head. I’m donating the food and wine and every penny raised tomorrow night will be gifted to Plan International’s “Because I am a Girl” campaign, which works to ensure that girls in some of the worlds’ poorest countries (such as Liberia, Sierra Leone and Bangladesh) are able to finish school.

Launched in 2007 by Plan UK, the campaign aims to improve the lives of girls throughout the developing world, many of whom are denied the right to an education, healthcare and a career.

This is a campaign about which I first read an article last month, on the plane on my way to California and I decided there and then, mid-Atlantic, to join in and be part of the solution in my own small, brownie-baking, way.

Here’s a quote from Cherie Blair (and there’s a link to her website on the blogroll on the right, if you’re interested in further details of her work to support women, globally):

“There is plenty of evidence that girls face greater disadvantage and discrimination in many parts of the world. For example, it’s estimated that, globally, 7.4 million more girls than boys don’t get a primary school education, and 70% of those in absolute poverty are female. So it’s good news that Plan has launched its “Because I am a Girl” campaign to draw attention to these abuses and what can be done to overcome them.”

The links that I’ve provided above in the text will take you to the relevant parts of the Plan website and, if you want to learn more, you can download their annual report or take the “Five Friends Challenge” and send e-cards to your friends to encourage them to pledge their support for girls’ rights worldwide.

The link to my fundraising page is here; with your help, we can help millions of girls out of poverty and towards a safer and brighter future.

Thank you.

On learning to listen

19 Oct

What an interesting, if exhausting, weekend. I spent it at a venue in central London on an “Introduction to Personal Performance Coaching” course and felt, particularly at the end of the first day, as if I had, to quote me ould Irish granny, been “ridden hard and put away wet.”

(That’s a saying about horses. In case you were wondering).

Unlike, I think, about 98 of the 100 people there, I was pretty sure when I booked the course that I was unlikely to be paying for future coaching courses and so I went in with the mindset that learning more about what coaching is and how I could acquire those skills in order to be a better people manager in my next job would be a really good outcome for me. On Sunday afternoon, we were asked by the trainer if we saw ourselves having either a part-time coaching business (two thirds of the room), a full time business (most of the rest) or just using the skills: me and one other person.

So, what did I learn? Well, first of all, it was good to spend two days with a very nice and amazingly diverse group of people and to hear their stories. A lot of coaching is focussed on listening to the “client” and so, when we were having our “peer coaching” sessions, I, as the “coach” closed my mouth, opened my ears and really, truly, listened. At first, that felt, and here I’ll be brutally honest … extremely hard. But, like any other muscle, you can train it to do your bidding and so I felt that my listening skills were much improved by the end of the two days. We also had to act as “observers” to others when they were, respectively, the “coach” and the “client” and that was a great object lesson in listening, observing but also giving thoughtful and constructive feedback.

As my own life is still in something of a tsunami of thoughts, decisions, options and confusion following on from my redundancy, I found the sessions on goal setting to be really helpful, albeit they did open up quite a can of worms for me when I thought about what I’ve achieved so far and where I hope to be. The trainer-cum-coach, Ann Skidmore , was just fabulous at working with us as a group and helping us to understand so much more about the goal setting process and why people find it so hard.

We also spent time working with Pam Lidford on our beliefs and she explained to us that, when we align goals with our values, success will follow. Pam clarified all of this with a series of great exercises around the concept of moving from a comfort zone to a stretch zone to a panic zone (and back again) and helped us to recognise where we are and how we feel (familiar and cosy – or stressed and unhappy, depending!)

I was also fascinated to learn how those who wanted to set up their own coaching businesses planned to do so and I met several women who hope to, for example, coach and support other women who want to return to the workplace after a career break, or who would like some coaching help in coping with the curve ball that can be new motherhood. Others wanted to break into the corporate/executive coaching and leadership space and we had some interesting debates around the issues facing women in business. And some men and women wanted to do the youth coaching diploma and work with young people; it was wonderfully heartening to see their passion and commitment to making a difference to the lives of the next generation.

The final session was applicable to the 98% but not to the one other bloke and me who didn’t want to set up our own coaching business, as it was all about how to get going, how to get clients, what to charge and so on.

However, on the premise that nothing is ever wasted, I listened in and hence took away the suggestion that using Twitter can be a great way to connect with people and get your message out there. As I’m nothing if not a late adopter … The Gender Blog is now on Twitter and you can see a link to my “tweets” on the right of the screen. Come and find me and join in.

My tweets thus far have been about the “Girls’ Night In” charity event I’m organising for later this week; I’ll be blogging about that tomorrow and there’s also a link to my “Just Giving” page here and on the right under the “Blogroll” section.

Thank you in advance if you feel able to make a donation to support Plan International’s work for girls and women around the world.

Today’s quotation: very English, very northern

26 Sep

Here’s Victoria Wood, on death:

In India, if a man dies, the widow flings herself on to the funeral pyre. In this country, the woman just says: “72 baps, Connie; you slice, I’ll spread.”

Thanks to Ms Wood and also, to a lesser extent, her fellow Lancastrian, comedian Peter Kay, I can now no longer utter the name “Connie” other than in a Northern voice; it somehow sounds completely wrong in my BBC English accent.

(As did asking for an “Alfred Hitchchocolate cupcake, please” in San Francisco earlier this month … but that’s another story.)

Another quotation: Jerry Hall on Hillary Clinton

16 Aug

This, from today’s Observer newspaper:

“I’m voting for Hillary. I think bitches get things done.”

(2008)

That may well be true, Jerry, but I do tire of seeing somebody who I’d describe as a “strong woman” also being described as a “bitch”.

Since when did the words become interchangeable?

“I am an exception to every rule. I am a working woman, I am single, I am not afraid.”

9 Aug

I so hope that the news stories of a week ago about the potential closure of the Observer newspaper don’t come to pass; it’s been my Sunday newspaper of choice for my entire adult life and always amuses (see last week’s brilliant David Mitchell column for a classic example), educates and makes me think.

An article today about a midwife in Afghanistan , as quoted in today’s blog post’s subject line, is the perfect reminder of how great a newspaper this is.

(So great, in fact, that today’s Sunday Times actually carries a letter, signed by a multitude of well known names, making a plea for the paper to be saved).

On feminism, 1913 style

25 Jul

I was reminded of this (in)famous quote on feminism yesterday, when having lunch with some friends; they are a married couple, with two small children. He works outside the home, she is at home with their boys, aged 5 and 8.

Although I said nothing to prompt or provoke what followed, I can only imagine that, for whatever reason(s), her “at home” status is perhaps preying on her mind, because she commented that: “I suppose, because of your job, you think that I should go back out to work now that the boys are at school”.

Not at all, I replied; my job is about ensuring that women who are already in the workplace, have the opportunities once there which are afforded to their male colleagues, ie to be promoted, to lead, to manage, to work in a flexible way – and that the lack of those opportunities does not then make them wish to leave. There’s nothing about my job in gender diversity which is about forcing women to go to work unless they want to do so, or, economically, have to do so.

But it’s clear that, even in 2009, there’s still confusion over what we mean by “feminism” – so this 1913 quote from Rebecca West does still hold true:

“I myself have never been able to find out what feminism is. I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.”

For what it’s worth … feminism to me is about choice, opportunity and flexibility; it’s not about “having it all”, but it is about having the opportunity to choose what form and shape your life will take, be that working inside the home, outside the home, having children, or not – or making any other of the myriad of choices now available to twenty-first century women.

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