Archive | Gender RSS feed for this section

If poverty has a colour, it’s blue –

13 Dec

- and if poverty is a fabric, it’s plastic.

I’ve had a lot of emails and texts over the last few weeks,  asking for more details of what I’ve been doing in Goa with the good folk from the charity Educators’ Trust India (ETI).  The short answer about their work can be found via this link to my freelance writing site at Collaborative Lines,  where I share some of the copy that I’ve written for the charity’s soon to be launched website.

And here’s the long answer … part one of my report on the wonderful work done by this tiny yet passionate charity.

If you’ve ever been to Goa,  or perhaps to any beach resort in Asia,  you will probably have been approached by beggars and/or beach sellers – usually women and children (I’ve blogged about it before).  They sell all manner of things (here’s a list which I made last year) and are extremely persistent in getting you to buy their jewellery, sarongs, peanuts and pedicures.  What had never ever occurred to me was where these people actually … lived. I knew that in many cases they travelled to Goa each autumn for the start of the tourist season in October and that they arrived there from other Indian states such as Karnataka. But where do they live when in Goa?

It was only when I met the ETI team and they invited me to join them on one of their regular visits to a slum settlement that I really started to give thought as to housing.  Take a look at my photo – it shows an idyllic rural scene, doesn’t it?  This field,  a currently dry rice paddy,  is located about 1.5 miles inland from the popular tourist resort of Calangute.  But,  as the camera pans back a bit,  you can see a woman doing laundry in a muddy stream.  Zoom back a bit more and you can see that the field is actually full of shacks made from blue plastic; basically, tents,  improvised with plastic and using tree trunks as supports. 

This field is home to around 100 adults and children ( a figure which will increase as the season progresses) from the eastern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh,  who travel by train (it takes three days) each October to work and beg in the Goan beach resorts.  I have visited urban slums before but have never seen anything like this; this field is where you live when you have nothing other than what you can carry or wear.   There’s no electricity.  No running water.  Certainly no sanitation.  No way of cooking other than in a pot over an open fire.

(Some of the Goans complain about this influx of economic migrants and say that,  well,  it serves them right that they live like this – perhaps they should stay put in their home states? To which my reply is – I think it’s safe to assume that they’re not leaving comfortable and luxurious home behind in order to travel across the sub-continent and then camp in this field;  this is an act of the impoverished and desperate …)

The first thing that hit me when we arrived at the field was the smell.  Without labouring the point, when the weather is 30-something Celsius and you’ve got humans, cows, dogs, chickens and pigs all using the great outdoors as their al-fresco bathroom … yeah.  The field does have a fresh water spring and the residents use that for drinking water and the muddy stream on the other side of the field for bathing, laundry and everything else.  However,  this obviously doesn’t work all the time and dirty water does get into the kids,  as we witnessed with the poor child who I visited in the hospital in Panjim a few weeks ago.  She is now suffering from severe kidney failure,  brought about by drinking unclean water.  ETI are paying for her treatment,  visiting her every day and giving her parents money for food so that they can stay with her in the hospital.

This next photo shows the rather clever use of sari fabric as improvised baby slings; each harness contains a six month old baby.  They are twins,  born to a 15 year old girl,  who leaves them in the care of the older women while she works on the beach,  undertaking manicures and pedicures (in reality,  a nail shape and paint,  for which she charges c. £2).  She told me all this in really excellent English,  which she has learned from tourists – and yet she can neither read nor write.

So,  what do the ETI team do to help these field dwellers?  Well,  firstly,  they set up an impromptu school a few times a week,  where the children sit down and have a very basic “lesson” with picture books,  crayons and paper.  They are taught to write their names in English and to count to 10,  to say please and thank you.   This is the most basic of educational approaches but,  for some children,  the simple discipline of learning to sit quietly,  to not fight or play but to listen,  is in itself a learning opportunity.  These are kids who would otherwise be working on a beach,  selling peanuts or doing a little dance to the beat of a drum and then asking for money,  so in some respects,  just having them available to sit down and mess about with paper and crayons feels like an achievement.  The ETI team also work hard to get the parents involved;  they arrived with a basic medical kit and will treat,  where possible,  small injuries – usually foot related,  like Jyoti from last month’s blog entry – but only with permission from the parents.  This photo shows Jacob,  one of ETI’s wonderful volunteers,  showing a few of the men how to write their names – the team really encourages participation and involvement from anyone,  not just the kids.

At the end of each hour long lesson, ETI hand out fresh fruit to the children;  I paid for this one week and for £7 we bought enough fruit for each child at the settlement to get an apple and a banana each.  Diego,  the charity’s Goan founder, insists that each child washes their hands prior to receiving the fruit and so we saw a line set up whereby the children queued up to wash their hands and then queued again to receive the fruit – all administered by the mums.

The gender divide is so marked at this settlement.  It’s really not overstating the case to suggest that the women work (on the beach,  at the camp – cooking,  washing, sweeping up,  taking care of the children) and the men drink and gamble.  The local Goan hooch is a spirit called feni, made from distilled cashew nuts,  and a 60 ml shot of it costs about 10p.  When we arrived at the camp at 9.30am,  there were men lying on the ground in a drunken stupor,  or lurching around, shouting and fighting with each other.  And they absolutely reeked of booze;  the smell oozed from every pore.  Diego told me that many of the men are addicted to feni and that any money earned by the women and children goes straight into the coffers of the local bars or is gambled away in complicated card games played between a group of the men in one corner of the field.

One of the charity’s key aims is to get the children out of the cycle of working,  not being educated, and thus marrying young (the average woman at the camp is aged 25 and usually has five children by this stage; I certainly observed that the amount of alcohol consumed by the men in no way seemed to either impede sexual performance or affect fertility …).  It seemed clear that the responsibility for bringing money into the family coffers lies very much with the women and children,  and that’s why getting the buy-in from the mums is so vital to the success of this project;  if we can persuade the women to allow their children to stop working and to instead attend one of the ETI’s two local schools,  then there is hope for the next generation,  who will be both educated and have ambitions for a life of more than selling peanuts and t-shirts on Baga beach.

Last week,  I had this conversation with Jyoti’s mum, Seevarna;  I asked her if she would allow Jyoti to go to one of the schools and she replied that she would love to,  but that because her husband was a brandy drinking alcoholic,  they needed income from both Seevarna and her two daughters in order to buy enough money to live – and so Jyoti could not be spared from her duties at the beach.

These women lead hard, hard lives; yes,  education is the answer in many cases,  but I do now see how tough it must be to decide that when your 11 year old daughter can perhaps earn £1 or so per day for the family coffers – and if that £1 makes the difference between being hungry (or getting a black eye from your husband when you return home with insufficient money for his brandy …) – that allowing her to stop work and go to school may not be an option.

In a future post,  I’ll write about the two schools run by Educators’ Trust India and how they benefit the children who have broken out of the child labour trap.

Anita and Jyoti’s story

23 Nov

One of the books I’ve read and particularly enjoyed (on my Kindle!) since arriving here in Goa has been Sanjeev Bhaskar’s account of his trip around India in 2007.  A second generation British born Indian,  Bhaskar had visited the country many times as a child on family holidays,  but decided to return (with a BBC film crew in tow) and see the modern India at around the time that the country was celebrating 60 years of independence.  He specifically wanted to see the area of the Punjab from where his family had fled at the time of Partition;  they were Hindus,  living in an Indian village which became,  overnight in August 1947,  part of the newly created Muslim state of Pakistan and so they left their homes and became part of the Hindu Diaspora migrating to India – passing on their way hundreds of thousands of Muslims making the same journey in reverse.

Other books (I particularly recommend Indian Summer: The Secret History of the End of an Empire by Alex von Tunzelman, which I blogged about here earlier this year) cover the politics and history of this turbulent and tragic period of Indian history in more detail and context,  but Bhaskar’s wonderful book provides a human story and brings it alive – he’s a fine writer.

“… those of us born as second generation Indians in England are the children of Partition – it’s odd to think that without that tumultuous moment of upheaval 60 years ago, my family might never made the journey that brought my sister and me into being as the modern Britons we are today.”

A favourite feature of the Kindle is the way in which you can clip and mark sections of your books as you read them,  and I did this a lot with Sanjeev Bhaskar’s India.  When he described India as:

“ … a country that breaks your heart in a new way every day … fractures you in ways you didn’t even realise you could be broken …”

… it very much resonated with me. I had my heart fractured the other day when I met Jyoti and her friend Anita on the beach.  It was about 4.30pm and I was just considering packing up and heading back for a shower,  when a shadow fell across my sun lounger.  I looked up to see a small girl holding a large basket filled with newspaper wrapped twists of peanuts and packets of crisps.  Just as the words “no, thank you” were forming on my lips,  she laid the basket down and asked,  very politely,  if she could please have some water?

(This happens a lot on the beach,  and I usually buy an extra bottle of water for the kids whenever I buy one for myself).

Of course,  I said and handed it over. To my surprise,  she didn’t drink the water,  but instead put the bottle down, and removed first a plastic bag and then several layers of grimy, bloodied newspaper from her right foot.  She then poured the water all over her foot,  and attempted to clean it up with fresh newspaper. When I asked what she had done to her foot,  she showed me a deep gash in her sole – a cut which looked dirty and inflamed;  a cut which would have any one of us at the doctor,  asking for stitches and antibiotics.  She had cut her foot on a piece of metal (“I think,  from a boat?”)  whilst walking on the beach and of course, was unable to keep it either clean or sterile.  All she could do was keep it covered with her improvised bandage and hope it healed.

Her name is Jyoti and she is 11 years old.  I felt very helpless,  but I helped her to first clean her foot with some of my baby wipes and to then dress it with Savlon from my capacious beach bag.  She then re-wrapped it with fresh newspaper and a different plastic bag; I bought her a sandwich and a Fanta,  which both disappeared in an instant.  Whilst all this was going on,  her friend Anita (12) appeared with her matching basket of goods and showed great concern as to the state of poor Jyoti’s foot.  At no point did either of them attempt to sell me anything or to ask me for money;  they just seemed grateful for the rest in the shade of my beach umbrella and for the food and drink.  I bought Anita a Coke and gave them my remaining fruit (scrupulously divided between them both by Anita) and a bottle of water each.

“Do you go to school?” I asked,  almost knowing the answer.

“Yes!” said Anita, proudly.  “School is good.  Better than beach. But in Karnataka,  not here.  When we are here,  we must work.”

Further questioning elicited the fact that they each travel with their families to Goa every October and work on the beach during the season – so until May.  They then return to Karnataka and attend school for almost 6 months,  before taking a 19 hour bus journey back to Goa,  back to the beach.

Jyoti was clearly in some pain at this time,  and she curled up on an adjacent sun bed and went to sleep.  Anita,  older,  more confident and chatty,  told me the somewhat amazing story that she is one of SEVEN sisters and one younger brother.  She,  her parents and sisters all travel to Goa to work,  but her brother remains at home with an aunt so that he can continue his education.

Further proof of the (lack of) esteem in which girls and their education are held in this huge, bewildering, heartbreaking country.  Here’s the last word from Sanjeev:

“India remains a dizzying edifice of extremes.  Goddesses are worshipped and women have occupied the most powerful positions in the land,  and yet it is a male-dominated society.  It is the largest democracy in the world and yet a significant proportion of the population are illiterate.  The wealth divide between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’ is increasing dramatically as India becomes a global player.  The destitute number almost 500 million – and that’s a hell of a lot of ‘have nots’.”

The meaning of grace – and how No can become Yes

4 Nov

October was a very busy month for me;  I’ve been serving as a judge on the Women in the City awards, booking and planning a trip to India for later this month and returning to work in an office!  I’ve joined a major investment bank and am now working full time as an interim diversity consultant,  focusing particularly on EMEA corporate communications, benchmarking and networking/affinity groups.

My colleagues at the bank have been very accommodating in allowing me to turn up,  learn the ropes and then disappear after three weeks in order to go back to India (Goa and Mumbai) in mid-November – a trip I’d booked in September before I had any idea that I’d be offered this job.

(As an aside,  and in case anyone was in any doubt at all as to the continuing tough and brutal state of the job hunting market: I went for NINETY NINE interviews during my period of downtime.  It would have been a round one hundred,  but I backed out of a scheduled interview upon receipt of my current job offer).

One of the many friends in Goa whom I’m looking forward to seeing again is Bushita (her name means “grace” in Konkani,  the Goan language).  I had dinner with her on my last night in Goa earlier this year – and this is her story.

* * * * * *

I first met Bushita when I called in to her beauty parlour for a massage one rainy afternoon.  After she had soothed and smoothed the knots out of my shoulders,  we sat chatting, drinking tea and listening to the rain beat down on her flat roof.  Over the weeks of my visit,  we became friends and I learned that this shy, petite woman was, in addition to being a skilled masseuse,  a very successful businesswoman.  Against the odds and with little to help her on her way other than hard work and determination,  she has become a property and land owner and is very representative of the female labour force who are fuelling India’s economic boom.

Aged 32,  she was born and brought up in Goa,  the youngest of six children,  and endured a difficult childhood,  primarily due to her father dying when Bushita was aged 6.

“I always loved school,”  she told me.  “And I worked hard to learn English.”

Aged 15,  she met her husband Sabbas,  a friend of her brother.

“He’s my only boyfriend,  nine years older than me, and the only man I’ve ever kissed – and even then I made him wait for a year, because I felt I was too young.”

They married four years later. Finances dictated that they had a small wedding rather than the large Roman Catholic affair she would have preferred, although she hopes to have -  “a huge party! You must come to Goa for it, Cleo!” to celebrate their silver wedding anniversary in 2022.

Bushita began training to be a beautician as soon as she left school in 1997; sighing,  she told me that she would have loved to “carry on studying and go to university in Panjim”,  but her mother needed her to start earning and contribute to the family’s finances. So,  taught by a local beauty salon owner,  she learned how to do facials and give massages and then sold her wedding jewellery to pay for a college course and improve her skills.

“My mother was horrified that I sold my gold! But I knew that it was the right thing to do and that I had to invest in me. How is it you say – speculate to accumulate? Yes!”

Charter flights full of holiday makers had begun coming to Goa in the mid 1990s and that led to the explosion of tourism as we now see it.  Bushita told me that she could see that this influx of western visitors would be good for business,  as long as she could learn some new beauty skills so,  after she’d qualified at college,  she went to work at a larger salon in order to learn how to do manicures and pedicures. Tragically,  her first baby,  a boy,  had died seven months into her pregnancy and her difficulties continued when her second child,  Hazel,  now aged 11,  was also born prematurely in 1999 and was very ill for the first few years of her life.

At about the same time,  her mother inherited a piece of land located very close to what was then becoming a popular hotel.  By borrowing from family members and using friends and neighbours as labour, Bushita built a tiny shop on the land to one day use as her dream beauty parlour. Because she couldn’t also afford to fit it out as a salon, she rented it to a tenant as a clothes shop in order to get some money for fittings.  The shop remained tenanted for the next five years,  whilst Bushita worked in a neighbouring salon,  biding her time.  She then took out a bank loan (underwritten by her mother) and built an upper story extension on to the shop,  which she finally started to use as a salon whilst maintaining the clothes shop downstairs.  Hazel’s Beauty Parlour, named after her oldest child,  finally opened in 2005,  a year after Bushita had given birth to her second daughter, Pearl Suezan; she laughed as she told me –  “both of my daughters were born in September.  I wanted them to be smart girls,  born at the beginning of the school year – and this way,  I could take my baby leave during the rainy season,  when there are no tourists!”

Having worked upstairs for a few years,  Bushita  then saw her chance to extend again,  and she started working from her home whilst converting the original salon into an apartment and guest house. She now presides over two apartments and three bed and breakfast rooms (“all with air conditioning!”),  in addition to the salon and the shop,  currently occupied by a Kashmiri jewellery business and told me,  sighing,  that she is very glad that she has diversified,  as the beauty business is under threat. There’s lots of competition from the beach,  as many former fruit sellers now offer beauty treatments as an easier way of working with the high spending tourist population.

However,  her guest house is doing very well and that helps fund the expansion plans and renovations.

“It’s grown via word of mouth and referrals and repeat business – thank goodness!”

I saw the generation gap at work when Bushita explained that her in-laws,  with whom she lives, struggle to understand her drive and commitment; “they do still want me to be more traditional,  but they’re more accepting now, as they can see the business growing and becoming successful. I earn much more than my husband does [as a taxi driver] and they find this very strange – it’s almost unimaginable in their world. Because we all live together,  we have disagreements over domestic ideas. Until recently,  they used to nag me constantly about having another baby,  ideally a boy,  but my husband reminded them that I had nearly died twice and so now they leave me alone.  Mostly.”

Luckily Sabbas has always been supportive and understood the need to earn money and do well.

“Over time,  I have changed my husband; now we have short holidays alone together and sometimes go out for dinner. The children will grow up and leave to live with their husbands’ families, and we will be old,  so it’s important that we are happy together. It’s our life and we must live it.”

What are your hopes for your daughters, I asked?

Deeply religious, Bushita would like her older daughter to be a nun,  or perhaps a nurse or a doctor – “she is very caring.”  And she hopes that  Pearl will take over the business and ultimately run the salon and the guest house. Ahead of either contingency, she’s saving money for them both in order to pay for university or college in some capacity.

Over coffee,  she confided that her greatest challenge is family based (“yap yap!”)  rather than business focussed.

“The in-laws are so difficult and their weight of expectations are a great burden; if they’re fine, everything else is fine, if not  – we all know about it.  They are always very unhappy about my building projects when they’re underway,  but they cope with it later on. They have a rural background  with pigs and chickens and find this way of life to be so strange, still,  after all these years.”

She continued, “Thankfully,  my mother-in-law does all the cooking so that helps a lot in terms of domestic stuff and childcare. They’re also very good at disciplining the children.”

Once the Goan tourist industry shuts up shop each spring,  Bushita goes on seminars in the down season to learn about new treatments  (“next time you come,  I will be able to do the gel nails”) and she also sells life insurance. She started this three years ago,  as a way of earning money in the absence of tourists and has found that she enjoys selling door to door,  to the extent that she has won both regional and national sales awards for achieving great sales figures.

“I get bored being a Goan housewife and I love business,  so my advice to other women is: stand up for yourselves and speak up. You must always move forwards and don’t look back. You do have talents –  yes, there may be barriers to your success,  but don’t be afraid.

If you have a great idea – try it, be brave.

No can always become Yes.”

(For previous posts about my trips to Goa,  please click on the words Goa and/or India in the “I’m writing about …” tag cloud on the right).

Women’s networks: what works, what doesn’t?

26 Sep

Earlier this week I went along to a discussion called Networked Women,  hosted at Intellect (the trade body for the UK’s technology industry) by Tracey Carr and Jan Peters. Unlike some of the events I’ve covered before,  where there was a lot of standing around and no particular focus,  this meeting was well organised and took as its theme the value and benefits of women’s corporate/in-house networks: have they succeeded or failed? And what is best practice – and,  more importantly,  what isn’t?

The first speaker was Eileen Brown,  the founder of a collective called Connecting Women in Technology (and here’s a link to Eileen’s blog),  which has members from such IT giants as Microsoft, Cisco, Intel Dell, HP and IBM.  They take it in turns to organise two events per year,  hosted by one of the member firms,  as a way for the women to network outside their own company and across different business and functional sectors.

CwiT has been running events for the last three years,  and Eileen shared their following top three learnings with us:

  • Women want mentors and advice from women in similar roles and at similar levels – so try to make sure that you have a good mixture at your events.
  • Get senior people (ideally men) to come and speak at your events,  particularly men who manage women – they add value and credibility to the subject in hand
  • Allow time for post-event networking and chat,  as well as a mid-event coffee break,  in case anybody has to leave promptly at the end – this way they won’t miss out on the chance to make new connections.

(c) We Are The City

Next on was Vanessa Vallely,  who,  in addition to a very impressive sounding day job in finance,  is the co-founder of the Network of Networks,  a collective of corporate/FTSE companies who come together from time to time to discuss best practices in areas such as networking and diversity.  Vanessa is also the creator of information portal We Are The City,  which is aimed at women in the City (of London) who want information on career and lifestyle issues.  Vanessa is the absolute Queen of collaborating with other people and other networks on events  and she suggested that SUCCESS for women’s corporate networks is dependent upon:

  • Getting senior sponsorship for your network – from a senior leader who is passionate, involved and active.
  • Creating a really strong business case for your network,  with proper objectives, and resources.
  • And while you’re at it – ask for a budget!
  • Thinking about your communications – use lots of channels.  And say to your members: here we are,  what do you want us to do?
  • Organising a range of diverse events,  for all levels of women in the organisation, with different role models and which take place at different times of the day

In order to avoid FAILURE,  Vanessa recommends:

  • Not working as a silo – get lots of involvement,  from many different champions
  • Remembering that the network is more than the individuals who run it
  • Keeping it simple
  • Involving men,  by ensuring that your events are always cross-gender and open to all.

(She reminded us at this point that it can be daunting for a man to walk into a roomful of women at one of these events – which can also serve the dual purpose of providing said bloke with an insight of what it can feel like to be a woman in the workplace,  perhaps walking into a roomful of men.)

A lot of real life networking tends to focus in on events,  so Vanessa’s top tips for anyone wanting to create a successful and vibrant event are as follows:

  • Make it exciting!
  • Get membership participation
  • Canvas feedback – how was it for you,  what could we do better?
  • Rotate the organising team and the sponsors (keep it fresh, in other words)
  • Have a good mix of what she dubbed both “hard” (business related) and “soft” (lifestyle) events.

And she closed by reminding us to be wary that a network’s reputation takes a while to build,  to remember that you will need a budget of some sort,  even if it’s only tiny and that you can’t be all things to everyone – there will always be some people who just didn’t enjoy whatever it was that you’ve organised.

That’s life – and it’s actually a useful life lesson, too.

All very helpful stuff,  and a reminder that Real World events are a very useful (and fun – cheese! Wine!)  add-on to the social networking piece about which I wrote on here last month.

Invisible woman syndrome

16 Sep

Let’s talk about role models.  I think it’s universally agreed that role models are A Good Thing,  especially for women;  they provide a sense that change is possible,  a glimpse of the future,  an alternative perspective on what life might be like “there”,  perhaps some tips and hints on how to get there.  When I was researching and then writing The Leaking Pipeline,  which featured interviews from 79 senior business women, all great role models, around the world,  I took and learned so much from their stories and their determination.

Of course,  role models can come in all shapes, sizes and walks of life,  as the PinkStinks campaign team demonstrate so admirably on their website,  which is in turn a great example of how to harness multi-media technology in this ever changing world.  When I was growing up, pre the computerised age,  my role models were the women I saw around me:  my mum (a mature student, a successful career woman in later life and now, in her sixties, a “sandwich generation” carer to both her grandsons and her own mother AND one of the applicants to volunteer at the 2012 London Olympics), teachers, librarians,  perhaps TV presenters such as Valerie Singleton.  I don’t really remember many women, other than actresses, on TV in the 1970s,  across the three channels to which we had access – Anna Ford and Angela Rippon read the news and that was about it.

So why am I pondering on this now?  Well,  a few months ago,  I watched a fabulous three part BBC4 series called Electric Dreams,  in which a family of six (parents and four children, including two daughters) spent a month replicating the arrival of the last thirty years’ worth of technology.  Their home was taken back to how it would have been,  in technology terms,  in the 1970s and they were stripped of TVs, mobile phones, computers, gaming consoles and all the associated domestic electrical gadgets: no microwaves, automatic washing machines or any other time and labour saving devices.  As each new day of the experiment arrived,  the time machine moved forward a year and the family took delivery of a new piece of technology – so we saw them getting to grips with early VCRs, black and white computer monitors, mobile phones the size of a brick and so on.

(c) BBC

The family were supported by a team of three technical gurus,  including Dr Gia Milinovich, who is a technology writer and self-confessed geek.  I thought she was fabulous in the series – clever,  funny,  great sense of history,  with a real appreciation of how technology has been such a huge enabler over the last thirty years.  The other two team members were blokes – see photo – so I think Gia served as a very positive role model for women in technology (and, perhaps,  for the two girls in the house).  I subsequently watched another three part BBC series which she presented (for which I can’t find a link – perhaps I dreamed it?) about the development and emergence of technology which made it seem really interesting and accessible, even to the non-Apple-owning types amongst us.

And I’m focusing on Gia because …? OK. Last month,  Gia wrote this article for the Guardian,  in which she highlighted how she has basically become invisible since her husband of six years,  rock star/God like physicist Prof. Brian Cox,  hit the media spotlight and became the acceptable (and sexy) face of popular science.

“When we first met”,  she writes,  “I was the expensively groomed television professional, working on mostly science and technology shows, and he was the newly appointed physics academic with a student’s wardrobe and a single bed.”

But, then:  “… he presented Wonders Of The Solar System and everything changed.”

She goes on to detail how her husband’s level of fame and recognition (in supermarkets, on the street) then escalated to the point where other women are zoning in on him in public and on Twitter and behaving as if Gia simply … doesn’t exist.

As if all of that wasn’t bad enough,  Gia has also had to take a hit in career terms,  as she explains that:

“…A few years ago, I started to notice that the more Brian appeared on TV, the less interesting I became to other people. I started to morph from Gia Milinovich, independent woman with her own life and separate bank account, into “Mrs Brian Cox”, then into “wife”. Pre-fame, I was asked for my opinions; now, I’m asked what Brian thinks.”

And,  circling back to our role models angle,  Gia has now decided to take a step back from continuing to work in TV,  describing here how she has found herself treated in a way which is doubtless only too familiar to women in corporate life – as if what she says has no value,  unless and until the very same words are uttered by a male colleague in the same meeting,  at which point they are fallen upon as if they are true pearl encrusted nuggets of gold.

“The respect for my professional abilities has declined in inverse proportion to the number of Google searches for “Is Prof Brian Cox divorced yet?”

“The first signs were there five years ago when Brian and I went to pitch some ideas to a producer at a well-known production company. I’d had a science-technology series broadcast on Channel 4 several months earlier, and Brian’s appearances as the science expert on This Morning were going very well.

“From the start, the producer’s attention was on Brian. Every time I spoke, he’d look at me as though I was interrupting their conversation. At one point, I came out with what I thought was an excellent idea. The producer again turned towards me, said nothing and then turned slowly back to Brian. About a minute later, Brian repeated my idea almost word for word and the producer told him it was brilliant.”

So,  how sad is this?  This clever, funny, educated woman,  a fabulous role model for women in science, women in TV,  women everywhere really,  has decided that –

“Brian has made a well-loved science series and I, well, until I work out how I fit into all of this, I’ll just continue washing his pants.”

Don’t do it, Gia.  Hang on in there – we need more women like you on TV!

Mostly men: engaging men in culture change

11 Sep

(c) emberin

Earlier this summer,  I wrote and edited a white paper for emberin,  around the significance of teaming with men for success and how getting the opposite sex on board with gender diversity and change programmes was the  only real way to make progress.

To support their work, emberin undertook a survey of male Australian business leaders and asked them some tough questions about their attitudes, behaviours and views on gender diversity.

Here’s an extract from the paper’s Executive Summary:

Earlier this year, the New York Times published an article entitled The Feminism of the Future Relies on Men. The author argued that twenty-first century programs focused on increasing gender diversity will only succeed if the men in the company are on-board with the idea in ideological terms and also support it in practical ways, suggesting that:

“The feminism of the future is shaping up to be about pulling men into women’s universe — as involved dads, equal partners at home and ambassadors for gender equality from the cabinet office to the boardroom.”

Gender diversity is now no longer about women smashing the glass ceiling and forcing their way into the men’s world; instead, it’s time to reverse twentieth century thinking and ask: what do the men want, think and feel about gender diversity?  And if men listen to other men – how can we help to change the way in which they think and speak when it comes to levelling the playing field?

emberin, as Australia’s leading gender diversity consultancy, is already very aware of this school of thought and has undertaken pioneering, award-winning work to support the concept that we call Mostly Men.  We know, via our qualitative research and our feedback from emberin programs such as my mentor – mastering gender leadership, that getting the guys on board and creating great male role models for other men (men who leave the office on time, men who promote and support women, men who convert their male colleagues to these behaviours) can make a real difference in Australian corporate life.

In 2008 emberin conducted the first Australian piece of qualitative research on the view of senior men who were champions of gender diversity. In conjunction with Telstra we then created a program for men. In the last two years almost 2000 men have completed that program and we have received significant feedback from them as individuals.

This report shares our findings with you and forms a pioneering piece of research on the current state of men in business in Australia today.

(c) emberin 2010

* * * * * * * * *

For more on this line of thought, click here to read an excellent article on theGlasshammer.com in which they pose the question:

“Would you want your daughter to work here?”

- and then go on to suggest that,  for men in the corporate world,  answering “no” to that question has to mean that they need to be part of the solution.   A senior partner from Deloitte US continues with her belief that considering the question helps senior men see the work environment and culture from a very different and personal perspective.

An alternative approach to 21st century networking

1 Sep

(c) Aquitude

From my new article on networking 2.0,  published today in TheGlassHammer:

“I haven’t got time for networking”, one senior woman from a major City of London investment bank told me recently.

“All that standing around in rooms full of complete strangers,  drinking either bad wine at the end of a long day,  or bad coffee and stale croissants at the start of another day – no thanks. It’s so unstructured and unfocused,  and such a bad use of my time.  I’m sure there probably ARE useful and interesting people at some of these events – but how on earth do you find them in a packed room,  and what use might we be to each other?”

Other women told a similar tale,  with one commenting that she had now stopped going along to organised “group meet ups”,  as she found that she either knew no-one,  or would see a familiar face in the crowd and then “cling to that person for the whole evening,  thus negating the idea of meeting new people!”

In response to this changing mindset – and independently of each other – two London based women have begun to evolve a more nuanced, “networking 2.0” framework,  which delivers the benefits of what we might perhaps call “old school” networking – expanding your contacts, sharing connections and skills – but which also uses technology and social media interfaces.

Read on here …

Harnessing IT to create better businesses for female entrepreneurs

28 Aug

Earlier in the summer,  I wrote about the Cherie Blair Foundation for Women and how I am supporting them with a number of their projects – particularly those focused on working with women in India.

They have now made the official announcement about this year’s Women Mean Business conference,  which will take place in Mumbai on December 8th. The conference will centre on the power of information and communication technologies as tools for women to start and expand their businesses;  there will be a particular focus around mobile services, web-based technology, technological learning such as e-mentoring, and social media for business.

I’ve been finding it so interesting to be in touch with my many fabulous Indian friends and contacts,  who have all been very helpful in suggesting speakers and conference participants,  as well as updating me on how social media tools such as LinkedIn and Twitter are now being used in India.

You can see from this advertisement for a housing finance scheme aimed exclusively at women that using text based technology to target particular demographics is already very popular in India – and I’m looking forward to learning more about, for example, how increased access to mobile phones can benefit fledgling female entrepreneurs.

For programme updates or to register your interest, please visit: www.cbfwconference.org

Have you ever been labelled: ‘an aggressive bitch’ or ‘too girly’?

23 Aug

This is a guest post from Tracey Carr of eve-olution, in which she describes her flagship training course and urges women to make sure that they are “doing your best for YOU – take control, read some books, get some personal development – come on our seminars. Do whatever it takes to move from being passive to being in control. “

Tracey is one of the UK’s top coaches and gender leadership experts and she’s been running an inspirational two day training course on Authentic Leadership for the last ten years.  I attended the course in June and later described it as “truly brilliant”.  Read on to learn more about the course, next scheduled to take place in Surrey on 23rd and 24th September and why it could be a life changing experience …

Let’s face it…

As women, we now have more responsibilities than EVER before..

As women, we often put others’ needs before our own needs.

As women, we have to manage the kids, the career, the finances and our health.

…. and always…

….We put ourselves last.

It’s crazy.

The trouble is,  we don’t create clear boundaries.

That’s because we feel we don’t have the ‘right!’

And what’s the result of all this internal conflict?

We’re often overwhelmed and exhausted by everything.

Yet, nurturing is in our DNA. We’re natural team leaders, peace-keepers and community-builders.

And women, in particular, feel like failures if they don’t deal with everything.

This can be a huge barrier to progress at work.

That’s because companies want strong leadership.

I know from listening to many thousands of you that you feel the conflict.

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t

No wonder you can be unfairly labelled an “aggressive bitch” if you’re too strong or called “girly” when you aren’t seen as being strong.

This double bind confuses us all on an unconscious level.

Before you know it, we’ve become ISOLATED and INEFFECTIVE, surrendering our feminine power.

However,  you don’t have to surrender, feel overwhelmed or feel guilty. You can be powerful, authentic and have all the time for all the people you care about – including you!

So, if you’re a woman who…

- Is frustrated and exhausted with the pressures of your life but can’t seem to find an easier way to manage it all;

- Slogs through your days just checking things off your ‘TO DO’ list while secretly fearing you’ll never even scratch the surface of your true potential;

- Has no idea how to be truly powerful at work when the culture and politics dictate you be something you’re not;

- Has a lingering void inside you haven’t been able to fill no matter which goals you reach;

- Wishes you knew exactly where to turn for a clear path on how to make this puzzle of life work and show you specific actions to get there;

- Actually enjoys a level of success (professionally or personally) yet STILL senses something is missing…

…you’re in the perfect place RIGHT NOW!

That’s because you can join other wonderful and inspired women at a landmark seminar.

This is a seminar that has been presented in Boston, USA and Singapore and London.

This is a seminar that has been presented internally to Lloyds, Barclays, Vodafone, Serco, B & Q and EDF to name a few. And this seminar has been reported on BBC Radio Four, on American Radio and in the Daily Telegraph.

This seminar is titled the Authentic Leadership Seminar.

At the Authentic Leadership Seminar you get two days of high end coaching from me, Tracey Carr.

Why should you listen to me?

Well, I’m an International Professional Speaker and Peak Performance Coach.
Also, I’ve worked with and coached some of the most successful women leaders in the world.

When I coached these high achieving women, I noticed they had certain common traits. These traits meant they were able to combine life and work commitments with extraordinary success.

Now you can discover their same extraordinary success. That’s because I’ve included these core traits in my seminar.

At the seminar you’ll discover:

“Bossy bitch” or “Too girly” – you don’t have to be labelled a ‘bloke in a skirt’ or lose your feminine power…discover the real meaning of leadership.

At last! Eliminate your fears forever,  using the powerful secret of the ‘Stop Technique.’ Amazing.

Revealed – how to manage your priorities and balance your different roles in your life. You’ll stop feeling as though you are pulled between home and work. And you won’t feel as if you should resign and pack in your career.

Discover the differences in dealing with different genders in the workplace, so you eliminate any potential conflict forever.

One little known secret to managing conflict and politics in the workplace. You’ll understand the “rules of the game” and still maintain a highly visible profile within your company.

How to build instant rapport and trust with anyone you meet by instantly realizing what type of person you’re dealing with. You’ll be amazed how much easier it is to build a working relationship and get more work done.

I could go on and on about what you’ll discover. But I don’t have space here. However there is one really important thing you need to know. That’s how to…

Tap into the power of your mind to get what you really want in life

You’ll also discover how to change the way you think. That’s because you’ll discover the power of your unconscious mind. And how your unconscious mind might be hindering your progress in life right now.

However, once you leave the seminar you’ll know exactly how to program your unconscious mind so you achieve the life you’ve always dreamed of. Not only this, you’ll also discover:

  • How your childhood experiences could be making you self-sabotage your success. You’ll be able to burst through this barrier forever.
  • The five behaviour traits which reveal if you’re a ‘hurry up’ driver or a ‘be strong’ driver. Or are you trying to please everyone all the time?
  • What leadership style is natural to you by using the ‘Funeral Exercise’. Sounds weird but it’s highly effective.
  • How you can finally achieve your goals by using ‘Risk Assessment’. This secret method is dead simple and never fails to work.
  • How you can avoid being sucked into company politics. Avoid the back stabbing, petty jealousies and rivalries that can occur in company teams.
  • Why your corporate image could be stalling your career progress.

And much, MUCH more

I know how it feels to never have enough time because I have brought up three children on my own and had a highly successful career.

I teach from the heart and only teach that which has had the most profound effect on my life. That’s because I have studied personal development as an obsession for 3 decades – psychology, NLP, transactional analysis, spiritual journey, emotional intelligence and I have developed my own female-friendly tools to help you manage your time.

Once you depart the seminar here’s what you’ll take with you.

When you leave the seminar you won’t feel overwhelmed. You won’t feel lacking in power. You won’t feel guilty. You’ll have overcome all these negative feelings. And you be able to go forward and have the rewarding career and personal life you deserve.

Why can I say this?

That’s because I’ve seen at firsthand how an Authentic Leadership Seminar changes women’s lives for the better.

I’ve seen women attendees arrive close to breaking point.  And two days later they’re a different,  positive,  person. It’s almost like magic.

You’ll be excited. You’ll have a vision for your future. You’ll have better relationships with the people you work with and with your partner and family at home. You’ll get a huge injection of self confidence and self-esteem. You’ll finally get what you want from life.

You’ll also have made friends with a group of like minded women who’re going through the same experiences as you. Friends you’ll want to stay in contact with. Friends you can confide in. Friends who can give you any emotional support should you need it.

You’ll receive a 28 page personality profile developed by Minnesota University. This means you’ll be able to discover your strengths and weaknesses. And concentrate on those areas which need urgent attention the most.

Plus, you’ll receive a goal plan for the next five years. Map out your goals so they finally become achievable. And you can enjoy the rewarding career you’re meant to have.

Isn’t that worth two days of your time?

Carol Paterson Smith @theglasshammer.com

9 Aug

Carol Paterson Smith

My profile of Carol Paterson Smith of Rothschild Blackpoint, who also runs her own business, Alpha Female, is now available on TheGlassHammer.

Here’s  the link – happy reading.

It was a great piece to write,  as Carol was such a fabulously inspiring interviewee – the words just flew from her onto the page and I hope you agree that that comes through in the article.

Sample quote:

“As a way of supporting women in the City, I take my two female interns out and about with me so that they too can network and learn. I lacked role models when I started and I want to try and stop that.”

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 34 other followers